They saved George Bush's brain (Jeff Haynes/Reuters)
If you can all bear with me here, today we're going to pretend that Rick Perry has a chance in hell of winning the nomination for (anything outside Texas). That allows us to pretend, in turn, that the stuff he says has relevance, as opposed to being just whatever red-meat-for-the-base he happens to come up with in that cavernous empty skull of his, which in turn allows us a bit of relief from having to take Newt Gingrich seriously. Really. Newt Gingrich.
So here's yet another of Perry's Deep Thoughts for Iowa Republicans. These will all be printed in a brightly colored pop-up book after the Perry campaign is over. (I'm betting the execution-themed pages alone will be worth the twenty dollars.)
Rick Perry on Wednesday criticized President Obama for not arranging a parade to welcome U.S. soldiers returning from Iraq, accusing him of not properly thanking the military."It really disturbs me that nearly after nine years of war in Iraq that this president wouldn?t welcome home our many heroes with a simple parade in their honor," Perry said at a campaign stop in Iowa. "Maybe it?s because this war is unpopular with the Democrats. I don?t know. But Mr. President, our soldiers come first. And it comes before party politics. We need to welcome our soldiers home. Give them that parade. Give them that pat on the back. Tell them thank you for the freedom that we have."
Yes. That's exactly what we need to do for our returning soldiers?have a parade. Welcome back, troops: Sorry about the lack of jobs, sorry about all those Republican attempts to screw you out of your healthcare, but Perry would have at least done the honest Republican thing and had a big ol' victory parade in his your honor. Here, welcome back: Have a float.
I admit perhaps I might be out of touch, but I can't imagine a lot of soldiers really want, after spending gawdawful years of their lives in Iraq, to be forced to march around some city streets for a while so that some people feel a proper sense of closure about the whole thing. Me, I'd rather just be allowed to go the hell home already. And what about all the troops that came home earlier? What about the troops still in Afghanistan, many of them shuffled from Iraq?
More to the point, you can imagine what would happen if Obama did have a "Mission Accomplished" event for/with the troops. The outrage among Republicans would be deafening. Fox News satellites would be exploding left and right just from the bile. (Note to self: hmm. An upside.) How dare Obama politicize the end of a war that good Republican warmongers are still peeved about ending. How dare he use the troops as props. Blah blah blah, outrage outrage outrage, now let's go to Sarah Palin, Sean Hannity and Rick Perry to tell us all how offended they are.
If you want to thank a soldier, here's some ways to do it. Protect and expand their healthcare benefits. Pay them better. Give them body armor without them having to take up collections from their family and friends to get it. Send them a "Welcome Home" card with five hundred bucks in it, for crying out loud.
And don't get them involved in nine-year "cakewalks" based on bizarre ideological gambits, but that goes without saying.
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